Pop culture obsessives writing for the pop culture obsessed.

The Sopranos' "Big Pussy" Bonpensiero stars in deli meat Halloween ad campaign as "The Gabaghoul"

Vincent Pastore has, at long last, landed the role of a cold cut goblin chef

Every kid wants to go as The Gabaghoul for Halloween this year.
Every kid wants to go as The Gabaghoul for Halloween this year.
Screenshot: Dietz & Watson

Though The Sopranos premiered in 1999, it’s taken until now for a deli meat company’s marketing department to happen upon the precise combination of elements that would give us a Halloween ad campaign that capitalizes on people’s love of the holiday, the HBO show, and cold cuts. But now, finally, we have it and it’s taken the form of a deli meat-loving undead mobster called The Gabaghoul.

The dread Gabaghoul is played by Vincent Pastore—or, in our fan fiction, the undead Salvatore “Big Pussy” Bonpensiero, returned from a watery grave where he learned how to make party appetizers. Pointy-eared, his pallid flesh covered partially by a tank top, gold chain, and black bathrobe, The Gabaghoul lives in service to his patron, Dietz & Watson, and their “Halloween Hosting” campaign.

A trio of videos shows off the creature’s best packaged meat recipes for those of us who can’t afford a Vampire Artie Bucco to cater our parties. In the first of them, The Gabaghoul introduces himself by turning to the camera and stating, deadpan: “Hey, it’s me, The Gabaghoul.” He then says “marone” as he eats a piece of meat, takes out a hatchet to cut up a hoagie, and accidentally chops off his own hand.

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In the second and third, that crazy ol’ Gabaghoul asks us a rhetorical “how ya doin’?,” yells at a ghost named Gino, then talks about hot dogs, and tries to kill one of the pesky bat that haunt his actually-not-that-scary kitchen.

It’s all in a day’s work for The Gabaghoul, who stands by, ready and willing to advertise for food companies that, if we follow the commercials’ logic, have managed to get a mafioso goblin-man to pitch their products in some immortal satanic pact.

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Still, for human viewers, we urge caution when it comes to this ad campaign, reminding you not to eat a bunch of Halloween party food directly from the fridge before bed. That’s a one-way ticket to long, strange dreams about having to whack The Gabaghoul, and nobody wants that.

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